I Caught Myself

Today was different. It made me think... a lot.

I've been dreaming lately. In fact, I've dreamt every night for the past 3 weeks or so, which is extremely rare for me.

Classical music helps me sleep a little easier each night. I was thinking about something completely different from anything I've thought about... ever. To be quite honest, I needed someone to turn to... but no one is ever there.

This is the first year I've given this many deep or important talks to a group of people. It's probably the year I've had the most to say about what means so much to me... I don't think people get how stressful everything has been... I don't want to whine. But it really has been a challenge. A challenge I WILL overcome, but a challenge, nonetheless. When you don't get what you know you deserve and work so hard for... it hurts... like hell. And I won't let it kill me, but it does hurt.

I saw this girl today. Yeah, I do know her name, but I'd rather not say it here. You know, there aren't many people that really intrigue me these days... I guess I learned not to expect so much from some people. I was impressed by how much she pushed them to do their work the right way- it was almost motherly with that strict edge. Some people don't get that I can get strict because I care so much... but I guess I can't expect everyone to actually look more into their assumptions. I think that girl and I would get along, maybe we'll end up being friends next year.
- I see people around school, wondering what they're like... some stand out, some don't. I usually want to know more about the ones that stand out, naturally. And surprisingly, I've gotten that opportunity with most of them. It's worth it- I'm usually right about them. They're pretty amazing. I want to meet more people like them...