Happy Thanksgiving

Give thanks to certain people-

my leadership team:

I've got to say... for the most part, even though we don't agree about everything, I feel like we have a natural thing that connects most of us the moment the team is formed in the summer. When everything gets hard and people get to me, I know you guys will always be there and understand what I'm going through. I know I'm not alone here. Barely anyone I know really puts in a lot of passion into something, even though they seem to get nothing in return most of the time. But we know that even though we don't get the cooperation we'd like, it's worth doing what we love, in the hopes that one day, it will change things for some people for the better. I'm thankful to have you, those of you who care and understand and take care of me.

Chen, Maggie:

I don't know how to start... I remember when I thought you were a huge, emotional, gossip-girl kind of jerk (because of the xanga entries you had back in the Suzanne days). But you're one of the nicest people I know... when you're not insulting Charlene, Ilani, or me! (: I know I can always count on you to be there, even when I call super late. I guess it's because you're always up anyway! Haha. But really, I appreciate all those times you put up with me... especially when I would call, repeating the same damn thoughts and concerns. You never made me feel guilty of being the burden I'm sure I can be. And you know that means too much to me because I'm always afraid of my stupid emotions as being burdens on the people I love.

Gunawan, Chris:

You seem to be one of the few people I know that has like... no flaws. Usually, I'm suspicious of the nice things people say, but I can believe you so easily every time. And the best part of it is that you really mean those nice things- I can tell. You have such a great heart, you care so much, and you make me feel better about things when I'm hard on myself. I know we're not super good friends or anything, but you're very important to me because you've shown me that there are some people out there who are just really good-hearted... and that's something I needed when times were getting really hard.

Hao, Charlene:

We've had a LOT of ups and downs, and I'm so glad that we made it through to now because I love our friendship. We both grew up a lot (I like to think), like it feels like out of Maggie, Ilani, and you, you were the person I really developed with, who understands the changes because we were there together. I hope that didn't sound weird. And you make me smile and laugh, and I totally know I can count on you. Plus, you always encourage me that there are a lot of fish in the sea to choose from, which makes things that much better. :]

Hon, Chris:

You frustrate me a lot, you have no idea. But I still enjoy your company and talking about music with you- especially actually playing... as long as you don't leave me out (like you did today!). You've actually changed a lot since last year, and I think it's a good change. Even though I hate your stubborness, I still value what you have to say, and it's nice to have someone who thinks so differently to argue with. Yes, it's a good thing.

Lac, David:

What can I really say? My best friend is gone, but it's not like I've forgotten about him. No time or distance can change the fact that you are one of the most important people in my life. I said it before, and I'll say it again, meaning it more than ever: You are the one person I was comfortable talking about anything with. I'm looking out for more friends like that, but so far, I've come up pretty short. I'm thankful that you had been there for me some of the times I desparately needed you to be there- the times when I couldn't go to anyone else. I value your opinion too much because you understand me. Hell, I owe you my life... so I would do anything to make sure you're happy with things and not burdened by anything because of all you've done for me. Thank you for teaching me the one thing I thought I already knew and for just, overall, being a fun friend to hang out with whenever.

Lee, Crystal:

My band bestie for life... that's all there is to it. I miss our catch-up days, I love your reassurances that I can always count on you when I'm down, I love having someone who actually loves band as much as I do (especially now that you see what I see being in leadership). You were there every step of the way, I could tell you whatever I felt about band - and I know I keep repeating the 'band' thing, but we both know it's an extremely huge part of my life. You do so much for me in that sense. You help relieve the stress that comes out of what we do. To put it simply, you understand my thoughts because you go through similar things that I do- and for that, I'm extremely thankful.

Montemayor, Robert:

Kuya, I really will miss you when you leave for college. It won't be the same without you at all... You're the only saxophone I can really count on without worrying. Plus, you're my jazz band buddy. I vent to you about whatever, and I'm really going to miss talking about all the little problems that go my way. No one else's sarcasm or concern would be the same. It's like replacing Aaron Chen in jazz band (within the next like 2 years)- it's impossible. My older brother who's always looking out for me, even though you tease me all the time... I'm absolutely thankful for the older brother I never had.

Sung, Eric:

We're miles apart (...lots of miles apart), but I wouldn't say our friendship has gotten any worse. You were there for me a lot of the time when the boys in jazz band were being huge jerks. When I was sad, you'd come over to me. You played 'My Girl' for me to cheer me up. You used to seem super annoying, but you're really not. I hope that didn't sound insulting... but yeah, I really hope you come back because you're one of the best friends I have. You're certainly one of the few really good guy friends I have- or I guess you could say I value our friendship a lot more than I do with most guys.

Taylor, Randy:

I've got to say, you're probably one out of maybe... 2 or 3 people (I'm not sure, I wouldn't really know) who never lied to me about anything. You said you would never hurt me, and you never did... and you still don't. You are one of the most honest people I have ever met, but you're also really motivational... everytime I put myself down or feel guilty, you always tell me to keep my chin up. And when it comes down to it, I really need to hear that from you because I'm so sure your comments are never biased toward me.

Umel, Ilani:

My filipino sister. Hah, I swear, we'd make great roommates. I don't know how we got to be such great friends, but I'm glad it happened. You're one of the most loving and spirited people I know. You brighten up my day... especially that one day (I'm sure you know the one I'm talking about)... that dark day for me... I wasn't expecting anyone, anything, at all. But you came to take care of me and be there until I calmed down. You actually make me feel like I mean something to people. You actually make me feel like I matter. And coming from you, it means so much because I think you're amazing already. 'Really, someone that amazing actually thinks that about ME?' That's the thought I get. Oh, and plus, I'm thankful for your driving (even though you almost got us crashing in the car behind us that one day) and plans to do big things as a group because I'm not a rebel, but I feel like doing something rebellious soon. xD



last but not least, an old part of me:

because you worked hard to get where you are. You have all these people to thank, but can't you take some credit? After realizing you can only motivate people to a certain point, and they do the rest themselves... can't it go for you, too? You went through hell for someone else's happiness. You know all you want is to get more people to care about things... you know you just want to help. You did a lot to get to where you are. You're STILL fighting. And I'm glad that you are.





I wish I could tell you all that I'm happy... because that's how it should be. I owe it to each and every one of you. But I can only truthfully say that I'm content. Just content.

But to put it simply, I'm thankful to still be alive.