4AM - and I can't sleep.

It's 4AM on a Friday, and I have school today. And even though I know it's stupid to be up at a time like this when I desperately need sleep because of the naps I don't take anymore and the max of 4 hours of sleep I've been getting averaged every weekday this week, I know my mind won't be at peace until I vent in some way. I can't call anyone because everyone is stressed. Sure, they might have been up at 2, but it's 4 now. And the only people who would be up are the ones who need that time to do some kind of work or study. I don't like waking up at random times of the early morning every night, but it's been happening every day for a few weeks now. But what I really hate is the feeling I get when I do wake up at those times. I hate feeling lonely. I hate waking up and knowing I shouldn't call anyone, as much as I want to. But I do anyway because that's the kind of selfish person that I am. I hate looking forward to something so much then feeling a sense of being let down, when I should probably not expect the things I do expect. I hate feeling empty, when I should be happy with things. I want something to good to suddenly happen, something unexpected that just really catches me off guard and puts a smile on my face. I want to feel appreciated. But at the end of the day, all these things just mean one thing, and that is something I can't be proud of. Because at the end of the day (or in this case, the beginning), when I look back at everything and think about it, I'm just causing trouble for other people. And that's exactly the opposite of what I want to strive for. I guess I can't make people happy.